As I was preparing for finals, I attended a stress seminar where the aim was to teach you how to look at stress in a less stressful way. While it was geared towards students frantically studying for finals, it was so relatable that I could draw many parallels to other stressful situations in my own life.
The three things the instructor emphasized we needed to remember just before finals are:
- You are not alone!
- You got this!
- You are worthy! You are loved, even if you did nothing.
There were times when I was felt like the loneliest girl in the world, when I felt like I could never get anything right, when I had worse self-esteem than a rock. These thoughts resonated with me — throughout my teenage years, I felt scared, inept, and unworthy.
It is not hard to feel lonely, even in a room full of people, sometimes especially in a room full of people. I was the only deaf person in my school, the only girl in some of my science classes, and it seemed that all my friends from middle school were interested in different topics than I was in high school. Sometimes, you can solve the root problem. If you’re lonely because you feel friendless in a class or school, then make new friends! I made friends with the boys in the science classes, found new discussion partners in my literature classes, and enjoyed new friendships in orchestra. I realized that not everyone is aware of how much communication I miss, so I had to work harder to build communication channels.
But some things cannot be solved so easily, because they are beyond any human control. If you are deaf or different in any way in your school, you cannot change that, but you can own it. Owning it can be hard, and ties in to your self-worth, but the point is you exist, you are here, and you should ask for help, make yourself heard, ask others to repeat themselves, etc. You got this. No one else can do you like you can. You are in control of your own deeds. This can be a difficult point to take to heart, especially if there is a little pessimistic voice in the back of your head saying “It’s impossible,” “I can’t do this,” “I’m not worthy of extra attention.” Don’t listen to that pessimistic voice!
The last point, “you are worthy” is something the lecturer spent the most time driving home, because it can never be overstated. Self-esteem is something all teenagers struggle with a lot, regardless of deafness. We, the students, feel absolutely terrible after a bad homework grade or a crummy final. One ugly final does not define you. Friends and family do not love you less if you have a bad GPA. Likewise, friends and family do not care if you cannot hear them.
It is never ideal to fail a class or to accidentally drop your hearing aids in water, but that does not mean you are any less worthy of love and life. Keep these three points in mind. You may not need them now, but I hope you’ll remember them when you do, especially before a final!
